The Passage

It continuously amazes me that someone who self-admittedly has issues transitioning chooses to do so on such a regular basis. It’s as though my body has a 24 month internal timer, alerting me that life is becoming too mundane, too settled, convinced that there is too much to discover, experience, explore. I haven’t lived anywhere longer than two years in the past decade-possibly something to explore with my next therapist? So, off I go again…this time to Rwanda…to intern for Tulane for three months in Kigali. What I will be doing particularly, I’m not entirely certain…I only know that I’m anxious to return to Africa—a place that has inexplicably made me feel more at home than most places I’ve lived in my own country.

I’ve certainly entered that head space of change: losing sleep, feeling anxious, expending serious emotional energy about leaving my little world in New Orleans. The last few weeks, I’ve been questioning whether the abundance I’ve been feeling lately is my mind’s way of challenging my decision to leave, or if I truly feel this happy and dare I say content in my life. The shift from being a full-time, dual degree grad student to having all the free time in the world to spend with friends, engage in community, and celebrate spring festival season is most likely not coincidental in this mood shift. There’s something so engaging and authentic about New Orleans that makes it unlike any other place. It’s gritty and determined and organic. It’s a city that’s constantly evolving while holding tightly to the roots that make it the unique and spontaneous place that it is. It’s full of beauty and pain and history, and welcomes a space for you if you so choose. It’s a place that believes in the strength of community. It’s a place I picture myself staying for a while…yet I am drawn back to the continent of Africa as I always seem to be—to listen, engage, experience, learn, appreciate, practice patience and tolerance, and open myself up to the beauty of the world and its people.

Some of you may be wondering where the title of my blog came from. It’s from Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, a book that has held great significance in my life. If you have not yet read it, I strongly recommend it. Essentially, he argues that from personal tragedy comes triumph; that suffering allows man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself; that if there is a meaning to life at all, there must also be meaning in suffering. A message that struck me was one of his ideas behind being human—that if energy is directed toward something or someone other than oneself—by simply giving to a cause or another person, the more human that person becomes. Man can discover this meaning by experiencing truth and beauty—by experiencing nature and culture, or by experiencing a human being in his uniqueness and loving him, allowing us to see our own potential not yet actualized while also reaching salvation through love—what Frankl believes to be the ultimate and highest goal to which a man can aspire. Being overseas challenges me to be present in this mindset…seeking commonality and exploring what connects us as human beings, attempting to improve the human condition in some way, while simultaneously gaining more insight into myself and the person I am.

Stay tuned for more….hoping Rwandan internet is up to the blogging challenge…much love and abundance from the Big Easy….