Friday, January 1, 2010

Quantum Leap

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can’t change where you been. But today, I have the opportunity to choose.” India Arie

Wow. 2010. What a decade. I guess we don’t realize what a wild ride we’re on until we get off the train. The 2000s have ended, and with that my 20s. I kinda like that parallel. Years filled with graduating college, my first real job, Peace Corps and my first, savory taste of Africa; long-term relationships (and with that, lost loves); grad school; travel, new cities, new friends, new countries; joy, pain, truth and beauty. The decade marked huge life transitions from late adolescence into adulthood—witnessing my siblings find their life partners and sharing in the joy of their wedding days, and now enjoying the beauty and innocence of their children. It was friends finding themselves in new cities, new careers, new relationships, new homes, and through that, progressing to the next stages of those relationships and friendships as adults. It was coming to terms with the lifestyle I’ve chosen, and the challenges that come with always wanting more, seeking, searching. It’s accepting non-conventionality and the possibility that I may never marry or have children of my own. It was a decade of questions and answers and more questions…a decade of growth and disappointment, discovery and presence. It shaped the woman I am today—my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams, aspirations, and hopes. I learned to be gentle with myself, and invest in the difficult work of examining myself more closely in order to be a better person, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend. It was a decade of blessings and incredible privilege; ten years characterized by struggle and challenge, goodness and light. It was a gift.

So, on the first day of 2010, as I am packing my bags for my month-long voyage through Nicaragua, I can’t help but feel incredibly lucky for where I am. That my nomadic tendencies are once again allowing me the opportunity to see a new corner of the globe, invest time and energy in myself and be present; welcome the crossroads I have once again found myself facing. So, it feels like a big year in many ways. I’m hoping this trip will allow me to make my next choice in life: whether it’s moving back to a city I love and investing in a life, a community, a job that lasts longer than 24 months, or if the nomad in me will desire a new country, culture, language, world in which to pour my energy. Perhaps it will simply give me space and time to be me.

My hopes for this next decade: Be authentic. Learn. Live with integrity. Live passionately. Accept. Live with tolerance. Live fully. Love completely.

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