The Union on Union Street

Burlington, VT is one of those places where your preconceptions and initial impressions are matched perfectly: spotlessly clean streets, beer-making hippies, sporty young people biking and hiking and running all over town; green mountains, cows, maple syrup. Of course, beneath these thoughts are the complexities and realities of rural poverty and a whole lot more, but I much prefer to think of it as the home of Ben & Jerry’s and those teddy bears everyone seems to love so much. Regardless, it was a welcomed respite from the oppressive heat of New Orleans, and the chance to visit and celebrate with very dear friends.

Weddings are always fantastic. They remind you of the goodness in the world, and the hope that love can bring, not to mention the free alcohol and an opportunity to get dressed up in something besides Tevas. Of course, I arrived a day earlier and stayed a day later than everyone else, wondering what my options are as someone who can’t afford the hotel or even a nearby camping site. Now, I know there are many couples out there who are amazing planners and organized and thoughtful and all that razzmatazz, but I have to say, having two brides instead of one seemed to make all the difference. All the little details that guys simply just don’t care (nor think) about are double the pleasure, double the fun. I was one of the lucky few who got to take advantage of the vacant apartment downstairs from Kim and Lauren’s. Not only was it a great set-up from a convenience standpoint, but I was also able to spend a lot of time with Kim and Lauren, their families, and other guests (all while comfortably relaxing in my pajamas). They provided me with essentials like toothpaste and soap, a new queensize air mattress, and a fridge full of deviled eggs and pickles (that were technically for the rehearsal dinner BBQ but my over-consumption appeared to go unnoticed). And I got beaucoup time with the fam. Met the aunts and uncles, hung with the siblings, made pasta salad, stressed over turning off the brownies, teased younger cousins. Absolutely fabulous.

Lauren is a cherished friend from Peace Corps Togo, and while I had only met Kim once before, it was such a delight to have that extra time with them. There’s just something about the familiarity and comfort of a shared, intense experience like Peace Corps that joins people in such an authentic way. It had been three years since I had seen the majority of RPCVs from Togo at the wedding, and like they always say, we didn’t skip a bit, as if no time had passed at all. You learn to know one another in an exceptionally unguarded, vulnerable way that creates such an incredible space for honesty and compassion. It was an incontestably hilarious and joyful time to be together again, stitched over in laughter, trading village stories and sharing in new memories.

And the wedding itself…how can you go wrong in Vermont in the summertime at a barn in the middle of a green pasture? Um, you actually can’t. Perfect setting. If there is anyone that does not condone same sex marriage, I strongly suggest going to the ceremony of a gay couple. The love and commitment between Kim and Lauren was evident in everything that happened all evening, from the glances to the vows to the gestures—filled with beauty and truth and the simplicity of an undeniable love. I couldn’t help but feel that we were witnessing something bigger than the marriage of Kim and Lauren (of which my waterworks could vouch for), while that alone in itself was enough. It was more the symbolism of what they represent. Undying devotion. Unquestioning commitment…and the legal right to be recognized and supported as spouses. At the end of the day, that’s all we really hope for anyone, right? That they find a partner that brings to the surface things that were once dormant; fills a void searching for completeness; enhances the goodness in the other, and is built on the foundations of invincible adoration, respect, and dedication. I left the weekend feeling inspired about life, joyful about love, and grateful for the wonderful friendships I have in my world. Thanks Lauren and Kim for such a spectacular weekend (and for trusting me with the reception playlist).

out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing

there is a field--

i'll meet you there.

when the soul lies down in that grass

the world is too full to talk about--

ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'

doesn't make any sense.

-rumi